The whole problem with cultures

shame on me- it’s been very quiet here in the last weeks, I know. I have had some really exciting weeks with my ❤ in Asia and I am not exaggerating when I say, that this was the best summer I have had so far. We traveled so far, we saw so many things, we learned so much, about different cultures, about the people, about us, and we became even closer than before. I thought I am not the relationship type of person and I have been single for more than 2 years before I met Ramzi, but when I met him, I knew that he’s the one. With him, everything was so easy,no trying to impress each other, no pretending, we know what we want from each other and what we want from life and we are not afraid to tell each other about all that and more. Sounds pretty good, right? Wasn’t there this one big problem: culture and tradition.

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In the past I already had some people warning me about intercultural relationships (I don’t even wanna use this word! Ramzi and me have the same outlook on life, and know exactly which values we would teach our kids,we have the same thoughts on religion and live in a multinational environment. I honestly don’t even know, if under these circumstances I can call our relationship intercultural.),but I never really thought about it, because I never imagined that I would ever have any problems like that. I think of myself as a very open minded person, who meets other cultures and believes with respect and understanding. Never would I judge a person due to his origin or choose my friends depending on their religion. I dont know if I was being egoistic or naiv, but I only thought about myself, about my tolerance and about my “multicultural attitude”. The idea that there are people who might not tolerate me and my worldviews never crossed my mind. Now that this is actually happening to me, I have no idea how to deal with it, mainly because there is nothing I can do.

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Often the biggest problems between two persons of another culture who fall in love are not themselves, but their environment and especially their parents. Parents may be backsliding from their future daughter/son-in-law if they know that she/he is from another culture,because they fear a clash of cultures. They think they are breaking with their traditions when mixing with other cultures and religions. The problem with cultures is that there isn’t something like a  good culture and a bad culture,cultures are not better than each other, but just different and that’s why fights or even wars about culture don’t lead anywhere. How are you supposed to choose which culture is the better one, when there is no such thing as a standard and who on this earth would be to render a judgement like this. One thing that i have definitely learned out of this situation is, that it is so important to learn about other cultures, because that’s the only way to eliminate all these stereotypes and fears from peoples’ minds.People don’t fit into boxes and everyone deserves the chance to show who they really are and what their outlook on life is. Nothing feels worse than being judged by people who don’t even know you, just because of your skin color or religion, without the chance of proofing them wrong. I am not saying that I am the most tolerant person on earth and that I am free of prejudices, I have prejudices, but I am trying my best to get rid of all of them. I believe in a world, where cultures meet each other with respect and apreciation, where religion is not a barrier anymore, but a door opener (I mean we all believe in something, right?), and where people will celebrate being different and at the same time realize that at some point we are all the same. I believe in all that and now it’s us who have to make the first step and let it happen.

By the way Ramzi has a wonderful blog too!  Here you can read about his thoughts on the problematic and our specific case: https://gymbooksandtravel.wordpress.com/2015/08/29/amor-vincit-omnia/

3 thoughts on “The whole problem with cultures

  1. G’day Maria, true words of love and meeting of your soul mate have nothing to do with culture clash so I wish you both well. The problem with some cultures are those that can’t separate religion from culture, particularly those that force pagan type doctrines from the dark ages onto educated lives in a modern world. Culture has nothing to do with religion. Religion has nothing to do with culture. They are totally independent quantities that have unfortunately been too often joined with horrendous results for all concerned. You are born into a culture but you get to choose your religion. What I am trying to say is embrace each other’s life choices and respect the different cultures and so my advice to you both is to leave religion out of the equation completely. You don’t have to be religious to be happy and you don’t need to be religious a good person.
    Roger

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    • thanks for your kind words and advice roger, i totally agree, religion and culture are two completely different things. since we are both not really that religious we don’t even discuss about religion, we have our values and world views and they are mostlythe same, so we don’t care about any labels, as long as we want the same things, who cares where the values are coming from.

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