To fall in love with oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance. Oscar Wilde
Recently I read an article saying ‘Growing selfie-trend promotes self-love’ which made me think about the new trend of self-love and self-acceptance in these days for quite a long time. The author is saying that in his opinion the growing trend of taking selfies is influencing the modern society in a very positive kind of way, as it shows that we finally feel confident enough to share with the world how much we love ourselves. Self-love, self-acceptance, inner peace, it seems like that’s the mantra of our generation and no matter if it’s Megan Trainor telling us that although we might have some extra kilos our bodies are perfect or the slogan of a new hair product saying that investing in your own beauty is the best way of spending your money, we are constantly told to start putting ourselves first.
Basically there is nothing wrong with that and I totally agree that our society needs more people who are confident about what they are doing and who they are, but I am not sure if anything that we see in the media is really teaching us how to fall in love in with ourselves. Take the selfies for example, are they really a new form of self-expression à la ‘hey look at me I am so happy with myself I don’t need a professional photographer, I am just quickly gonna take a selfie’ or isn’t it that we take 40 pictures in a row until we finally have the perfect ‘spontaneous’ selfie. And do we really buy those new hair products because we want to give ourselves a treat and celebrate our own beauty, or are we secretly hoping that they will make our hair look as good as in the commercial and that others will admire our shiny hair.
We can publish as many selfies as we want in order to show our distaste for beauty standards and fake self-portrayal, but we if we don’t even dare to leave the house without wearing makeup, it’s evident that we don’t love everything about ourselves. It shows that we are still driven by what others think of us and not by what we ourselves think of us. But most of the time we are not aware of that. Our inner voice can lie to us, or sometimes we are not able to hear it because of all the noise from the measures and stereotypes of society. We need to free ourselves from the constant compulsion of fulfilling other people’s expectations and we need to learn that appreciating people’s opinions doesn’t necessarily implement being attached to them .
We are trying our best to always look the best and show the best part of our personality in order to catch other people’s attention. And all this effort, for what? Well I guess the reason is very simple, at the end of the day we all want to be loved. But how can we expect others to fall in love with us, if we don’t even love ourselves? While trying to find love to compensate our self-love deficit, we totally forget that the only person we have to be with for the rest of our lives is us. Having someone who tells you that he/she loves you might allow you to forget about yourself at first, but one day “yourself” will come back and it will demand all the lost time.
In order to fall in love with yourself getting involved with yourself and finding out what you really need and want is inevitable, but that has nothing to do with being self-centred. Once you are in peace with yourself and don’t have to waste your time racking your brains about how to present yourself to the world out there anymore, you will realize that you have a lot more time getting involved with others and that suddenly you will be able to open your heart to others. You will be a happier person which will not only make your own life a lot easier but since positivity is contagious, also serve the people around you. I truly believe that if we all came at least a tiny bit closer to a state of true self-acceptance and self-love, we would have less problems and this world would be more joyful and less violent.